Be Careful What You Wish For
by WildChildBornGood
Summary: Ever wonder what was Janine's reaction when she found about Rose's escape of the Academy? How did she feel?  Before Vampire Academy. Janine POV. : Continued. One-shot series.
1. Be Careful What You Wish For

**Well, this is my first fanfic story, and if I'm honest, I'm extremely nervous! Its pretty short, but I hope its good. Please, read and review! It would mean the world to me! Any suggestions are welcome, thanks! :) Oh, and i most don't own Vampire Academy, no matter how much i want to. **

Ring… Ring… Ring…

Ugh! It was Sunday, my day off, the only day I could possibly sleep in and my stupid phone would not stop ringing!

Ring… Ring… Ring…

My God! Don't these people give it a rest!

I picked up my phone from the nightstand, not even bothering to check who it was in the caller ID. I was to annoyed for that.

"Hello!", I practically screamed into the phone, wishing to give at least some damage to whoever was bothering me.

"Hello, Guardian Hathaway, I'm calling from St. Vladimir Academy. I'm not afraid I have bad news involving your daughter, Rosemarie."

Oh God, I thought, what did Rose do now?

I wasn't surprised. I got these kind of calls all the time. Your daughter did this, your daughter did that. I never expected to hear what I heard next.

"Well, I'm afraid to inform you that Rosemarie escaped from the Academy last night. But that's not all, also the Princess Dragomir is missing and we have many reasons to believe that she left with Rosemarie as well."

I felt as if a bucket of ice, cold water had been dumped on me. Rose was gone, out of the protection of the wards, but to make matters worse, so was the Princess and I had no doubt she had escaped with Rose and that my daughter would be blamed for it.

"I know that considering your job it might be hard, but your presence is needed here."

"Of course. I'll be there as soon as possible." I said in a voice that very much resembled a robot. There was no question that that was how I felt on the inside.

* * *

A few hours later I was on a plane to Montana. I couldn't believe this was happening. My daughter and the Princess Dragomir, the last one of the Dragomir's, had escaped from the Academy.

Why? Why did they do it?

Where could they possibly go?

I really doubted they knew anyone outside for the Academy, what could be waiting for them out there?

Five hours later, I was walking through the gates of St. Vladimir Academy. I hadn't been here in five years and for the reason I was here now, I much rather not have come at all. I was directly taken to the Headmistress Kirova.

"Please, Guardian Hathaway, take a seat." she told me once I was in her office.

"Well, Rosemarie and the Princess have been missing since last night. The guardian at the gate remembers seeing them, but remembers nothing at all after that. Many humans have seen them in the following town, but there is no trace of them anywhere. We have nothing."

The moment I heard that there was a team of guardian's out looking for them, I knew I had to be part of it and look for my daughter and the princess.

"Headmistress, I'd like to take part in the search of my daughter and the princess, it's the least I can do."

* * *

And that is how I ended with the rest of the guardian's, out in the woods, surrounding a backpack with the belongings of my daughter.

The moment we found her belongings… my world fell to the ground. In that moment I realized, finally, the magnitude of what was going on.

My daughter, my only daughter, the daughter I had abandoned so many years ago to be raised by the Academy, was missing.

What if we never found them? What if I never saw my daughter again? What if she was dead?

Never again would I see her. Never look into her eyes. Those eyes that reminded me so much of Abe. I would never get to tell her how much I truly love her. How it broke my heart to hear her screams and cries the day I left her in the Academy. How much I regret not demonstrating how much she means to me.

In that moment, I thought how cruel life was.

Life was taking away from me now what I had begged to be taken away many years ago. Life was taking away from me my daughter.

Never in my life did I hate myself so much for what I had once wished.

**Hope you liked it! Please Review! (: **


	2. The Same Mistake

**Well, here i am again! :) **

**In request of _sneaky lunatic spy _i am continuing writing this. It will be a series of one-shots about different events that happened all through out the VA series. This chapter is titled _The Same Mistake_ and was idea of sneaky lunatic spy. Thank you so much for this idea and hope like it. i hope you all like it and please, please, please review. If you guys have any ideas, please don't hesistat in telling me, i'd love to hear them. Thanks and till next time. :):):):):):):):):):)**

* * *

Two years. Two years had passed since Rose and the Princess Dragomir had escaped from the Academy. Two years of worry, two years of torture, two years agony. Every single day I called the Academy, wishing, hoping that there was some kind of clue that led to where they were… there never was one.

Day and night, my mind was haunted by the worst of thoughts. Not knowing where my daughter was was slowly killing me inside. I tried to occupy most of my time on my duty, to protect my charge, but that wasn't always possible. Even if I was protecting my charge, a little voice in the back of my head screamed at my that my daughter, my only daughter was missing and that voice slowly but surly, little by little ate me up inside.

The first couple of months were the easiest and the hardest at the same time. Easiest because I had fresh hope in me that at any moment Rose and the Princess would appear and all this would just be another one of Rose's terrible actions. They were that hardest because just like the hope, the agony was fresh in me. I didn't know where my daughter was, if she was alive and well… or dead.

But as the months passed, my hope slowly died. Hope that they would come back. Hope that they were close. But the agony didn't die, it only grew and grew. Everyday I would wonder were they were. Were they okay? Had something bad happen to them? Were they alive? Every time I thought about the last one I would try to make myself think other wise. Bad news runs fast, I told myself. I willed myself to believe that even if I knew I could be lying to myself. In this world anything could happen and we would never find out about it.

Late into the night, when sleep was impossible and all my mind did was spin around in useless circles was when I allowed myself to cry. I cried for all the mistakes I had done and I cried because it was in those moments when what was happening truly hit me. The reality of the situation hit me hard.

It was in those moments of weakness when I let my mind wander to the past without thinking of the pain that it would cause me later. I would think back to the very first time I heard Rose cry. How grateful I was to hear her cry and how I was the most beautiful thing my ears had ever heard. How warm and soft she felt in my arms. How scared I was that I could hurt her small fragile body when she was in my arms. The very first time she called me _"mama"_. How that had made my day as bright as the sun. When I would pick her up in my arms and she would pat my face with her small, chubby hands. How she would wrap those small arms around my neck and give me sloppy kisses. How her smiles would make me smile even in the darkest of times.

But I would also remember that in nights just like the ones now, I would cry but for entirely different reasons. I would cry because of how my life turned out to be. I would cry because I never thought I would be in a situation where I was held back from doing what I wanted. How hard life turned out to be and that feeling of regret that always out shadowed my love for my daughter.

That was the reason why I acted towards my daughter in a cold, hard way. Because every time I saw her I would see my past reflected in her. She reminded me of so many things I could have done if she hadn't been born. And that thought made me feel like the cruelest person in the world.

And that was how it had always been. When I left Rose at the Academy it had hurt me deeply to see the tears streaming down her small face, her screams begging me to come back. But at the same time it felt as if a big weight had been released from my shoulders. I felt as if I was free again and I loved it.

But all that had changed when I saw that I could loose my daughter. I realized all I had done wrong and how Rose wasn't responsible for the mistakes of my past. The ones who was responsible for my actions was me and no one else was to blame. Rose didn't ask me to bring her into this world, I had made that decision not her.

Just when I was about to give up in ever seeing my daughter again and my faith was down to the ground I received a phone call that would bring peace back to my life.

"Guardian Hathaway, we'd like to inform you that Rosemarie and the Dragomir Princess have been brought back safely to the Academy."

The receptionist had said the words I had so longed to hear. It was as if a piece of my heart was placed back in my body again. As if I could finally breath properly. My daughter was safe and sound. Back in the protective walls of the Academy where I was sure no harm could reach her. I could see her again. I could finally rest and sleep in peace finally knowing that my daughter was safe.

"Are they okay?" I asked the receptionist.

"Both girls have returned to the Academy in perfect conditions." she informed me and I thanked god for that, even though I didn't consider myself a religious person.

Later that night I sat in front of my computer, staring at its bright screen without truly looking at it. I asked myself, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your daughter or at least heading there? I'm sure that any other mother would've been on a plane by now, impatient to get to there. To assure themselves that it was true that they were okay, but why wasn't I? Why was I still here? I knew the answer perfectly.

I was scared.

After so many years of not expressing myself, my true self to my daughter… I didn't know how. I had always been the unaffectionate mother and to change that now was hard and it scared me. And if I was honest with myself, what I was truly afraid of was the rejection from my daughter.

After so many years of distance, of my cold treatment towards her… I couldn't blame her is she did. I know I would do the same if I was in her situation.

_I'm glad you're back. What you did was inexcusable._

I typed into the computer and clicked send. I looked out the window, up at the full moon and closed my eyes. I was the same cold, hard mother I had always been. Why? Because I was too scared to ask for forgiveness. Why?, I asked myself. Why are you making the same mistake all over again?

* * *

**Hope you guys enjoyed it and please tell me what you think. Thanks for reading and please review! :D**


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